The ever elusive, peace – Peace in ones very being, a little tranquillity amongst the noise of life, quiet, calm, content… peace.
I think we all endeavour to find it, though it can be hard to remember the importance of finding peace- life gets a little bit too much, there are bills due that we worry about paying, the kids want/need a million things that you can’t give them, people are leaving/getting sick/old/dying and we must move with those great changes within our lives, something unexpected is thrown at us and shakes our resolve, relationships are forged and lost, money is worked for and spent, time passes, we age and responsibility becomes a crushing weight; so we look for peace, a little reprieve from all the commotion. We all find peace in different things, music, nature, television, silence, reading… If it calms you, if it softens the blow of your troubles and woes then it is peace, it is worthwhile and it is needed.
It is no easy task to discover what calms you and I think perhaps your needs change as you grow and as your responsibilities broaden but when you finally do discover what brings you peace you will crave it with all your being and open your heart to it at every given opportunity. My peace is my selfishness; perhaps I should find peace in my children but I do not. I love them with all of my being and I find joy in watching them grow but there is no peace for me in raising children, only worry for their futures, only stress about what is right… Perhaps I should find comfort in those around me, lending an ear and a shoulder but I don’t. Their company and understanding is a great gift to me, I am grateful to the point of feeling indebted to them and so I hold myself back, I release my personality in small doses, stress, worry, fear of loss…
My peace comes from the night time; how I wish it was normal to function only at night. Gazing at the stars lends perspective to my problems, it grounds me in a way nothing else can – does it solve anything? no, but my world seems a smaller, a more manageable place with the stars watching. I find peace in the smell of night time; people often give me a puzzled look when I say this to them but there is a freshness to the air at night that awakens everything within me, it invigorates me and I feel ready to take on all that is thrown at me; no it won’t give me any answers to my problems but I have the drive to find those answers. I find peace in the wind, feeling nature beat against my skin once again reminds me of how insignificant my woes are and nothing seems so impossible to solve. I like to meditate, my mind can often be a place of great noise and so to empty it – or even just attempt to can be incredibly therapeutic. Writing this blog brings me peace, it organises the many thoughts racing around my mind and leaves peace in its wake.
We tend to ridicule the pursuit of peace, but why? We have all gazed upon the stars, we have all dreamt of better days, we are all searching for that awe inspiring thing that gifts us with a little perspective, we all crave a little quiet. My noise, the noise of worries and stress, pressure and life in general, is both in my head and out of it and so I must pursue peace more vigorously, I must find things that reach deep within but we are all moving towards the same goal, peace, calm, tranquillity.
Today I need peace. Today I need to find calm, the problems weigh heavy upon me and there seems to be no way forward, no way out – my mind is desperate, my emotions rampant and so I will search for peace to remind myself of what I am fighting for, to gift myself with a little perspective and to save myself from giving up.